Discipline of the Tongue—Proverbs 10:18-21
“I am master of my unspoken words and slave to those words which should have remained unsaid.”
A woman with a reputation for gossip once came forward during the invitation at the close of the morning worship service. She told her pastor, “Pastor, I want to lay my tongue on the altar!” To which the pastor replied, “Ma’am, the altar isn’t big enough.” Uncontrolled tongues split churches and cause divorces. It is but a small member of the body but so difficult to control. James said that if you found a person who could control his tongue, you had found someone with genuine maturity (James 3:2). What power is in the tongue!
The tongue has power to DECEIVE . Proverbs 10:18a refers to this as ” He that hideth hatred with lying lip … .” Have you ever played the part of a hypocrite? Have you ever pretended to like someone only to talk badly about them after they left? Then Proverbs 10:18 refers to you. What is the cure? What should you do to not deceive with your tongue? How can you tame your tongue?
The tongue has power to DESTROY . ” He that uttereth a slander, is a fool” (10:18b). James says that the tongue is like a deadly fire ignited by hell (James 3:6). We slander someone when we say untrue words that are potentially destructive to a person’s reputation, feelings, or ministry. Or we slander when we indiscreetly share true words about someone with someone who has no real need to know those facts. Have you ever done that? Have you ever said something with a mean spirit that hurt someone’s feelings or reputation? What is the cure? What should you do to not DESTROY with your tongue? How can you tame your tongue?
The tongue has power to DEFILE . Proverbs 10:19 says: ” In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin .” In other words, the more you talk the more likely you are to sin with your mouth. And Jesus made it clear what sinful words do to us: ” But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man ” (Matthew 15:18). Have you ever felt “dirty” after you said something you shouldn’t have? An old saying describes this: “I am master of my unspoken words and slave to those words which should have remained unsaid.” Have you ever felt enslaved by words you wished later you hadn’t said? What is the cure? What should you do to not DEFILE yourself and others with your tongue? How can you tame your tongue?
The answer is this: You cannot tame your tongue. James even tells us this: ” But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison ” (James 3:8). But the real problem isn’t in the tongue but in the heart to which it is tied. When the tongue deceives, destroys, and defiles, it is only revealing a problem with the heart. Proverbs 18:20 puts it this way, ” The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth .” Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 15:18? ” But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart… .” To gain control over your tongue, you must confess the sins of your heart. Ask God to search your heart and show you what wickedness is in it. Then confess those sins to God. Especially confess the sin of bitterness which defiles so many (Hebrews 12:15). Fully forgive those who have offended you or you will never use your tongue for the purpose for which God created it.
And what is that purpose? God wants you to use your tongue to DIRECT others to worship Him. ” Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee ” (Psalm 51:13). God wants you to use your tongue to DELIGHT Him in praise. ” O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall show forth thy praise ” (Psalm 51:15). Will you pray like David and say “my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness” (Psalm 51:14)? God wants you to use your tongue to DEEPEN the spiritual relationship of others to God. ” The lips of the righteous feed many ” (Proverbs 10:21). What could you say today to encourage someone else to grow spiritually? Will you commit now in prayer to do that today?
This first appeared November 15, 1998 in the Advancer , a Sunday school teacher’s guide published by the Baptist Publishing House . It is gratefully reproduced here with permission from the publisher.